At the age of nine, I began to use drugs with my aunt. I thought everyone lived like that; doing drugs was normal for me. Then, my mother passed away when I was twelve and I stopped all together. I wanted to make her proud; however, the pain of losing her was too much. I started using again around the age of fourteen. Opiates, weed, and alcohol consumed me until I was nearly twenty years old. Despite the numbing effect of these drugs, nothing understood me more than cocaine.
Dancing with the devil has consequences, and those consequences imprisoned me on the dance floor. Working to stay high, I landed myself in prison. Alone, behind those walls, I began to think about the life I had chosen and how fast it spiraled out of control. After prison, I enrolled into drug court and graduated. Two years went by without using, but the demon never left me. I relapsed.
The feeling of guilt seemed to attack me from every direction. I was lost and could not find my way back to the real world. There is more than one way to die, and I was dying in every way possible. That is when my sponsor, Tonya, connected me to BCD (Better Community Development) where I currently reside. I spent thirty-days in their rehabilitation program, and now stay in Chem-free living.
I stay involved, I help others, and I follow directions. Doing so, I have been sober now almost 7 months. I have worked with my sponsor, and the BCD program to find out who I am, and what I like. I did have to face the difficult things of my past, losing my mother, hurting others, and others hurting me, but I found freedom in facing these things. We all have a story; we all have a past. I have learned over time that my experiences can help others as long as I allow others to help me.